I did. I just find it very hard.
I told her she was all the good examples I'd had from other people in my life rolled into one.

Thats as near to telling her as I can get.

She mentioned that if I'd had what I get from her with my mother I wouldn't have any shame around what is in reality a normal giving between 2 people. And she has said I'm not just a taker. She doesn't experience that being with me. There is a back and forth of feelings between us both

Its the not having got it from my primary care giverwhere the embarrassment stems from.
And that my mother was very clever when she use to tell me that I run to everyone else but her. T said that way she kept you cut off from others, kept you thinking everyone but her was dangerous/wrong. So it makes sense that you would struggle with all these feelings coming here to me.