I'm not spending anything because my mom pays for the food. Rent is 700, condo fee is 150, phone bill is 120. So my mom takes 1000 every month. That leaves me with 1500 gross a month from disability and working part time. I saved up a lot of money by doing this for over a year.

My goal is still to get off of disability and have a career so I'm going to school part time. I have no idea what I want to do though. I have potential to do something with my life so I don't want to waste it.

If I wasn't on disability, I'd be working full time at a dead end job with no time for school and feel my soul being crushed by society, alone with no relationships because I'm asexual so I'd be exhausted after work with all my useful energy to get out of the system - wasted, then I wake up and do it all again, alone (Probably doing drugs). I did that before with my welding job. They weren't even teaching me welding. They had no respect for me. They just made me clean the shop. The coworkers were abusive. One always asked me why I didn't smile and made fun of me for it.



The only reason I wouldn't be psychotic and extremely dysphoric and depressed from stress of working full time is because of the invega injection. But that costs 1000 dollars a month and I wouldn't be able to afford it without disability.

So I'm basically cursed in a way but also lucky and grateful that I'm in the position that I am in. I would still give it up if I didn't have this illness, ruining my cognition but could be the invega numbing my brain which is why I sometimes want off the Injection to see if I'm better even though I would lose my disability if I was.