What you're going through is profoundly difficult and I know it's especially difficult to see the path to balance when you're in the midst of of a hurricane.

It seems like our roles as parents is always evolving and each of you are respectively going through growing pains.

Suggestion: Make plans to get together, even if these issues aren't resolved. Going to a movies or having a potluck picnic in the park where everyone, including her, contributes something, is a good exercise but during those times, don't bring up all the issues or she'll never want to spend time with you. Talk to each other about things you're excited about and don't let it always be about the struggles and stresses.

Big hugs to you!

Lele