Thanks DP. I have had rupture/repair with him before and it has been really helpful. This feels different because I'm not really angry with him, I just feel unable to cope with the levels of shame rising from within me. Or I did. I was in a lot of pain when I left on Wed but I feel like my defences have had an opportunity to refortify and I feel very little. Which means we can't even really work on it. It just feels so pointless.

I am meeting him on Skype in just under an hour.