Some call it attachment, I call it bonding. I think attachment makes me think of leaches lol.

I think people here often forget I'm also avoidant. I don't typically "bond" with people in real life. Things with T were very rare for me. However, since it happened once, I'm terrified of it happening again and that wall is huge now.

I'm very independent and hate attention, which also makes therapy hard for me. Ya it's easy to "talk" online often about this but in person? No. I don't like people even looking at me. Tues was hard in that sense, I was used to my T taking the lead and talking tons about himself to take the focus off me. So just sitting here being the focus made me super uncomfortable. There was alot of silences and me looking down and away.

That's another reason, idk if I can do much either of them. This is gonna become very difficult for me.... and I honestly think I'll opt out of therapy again all together and just suffer alone.