Today’s reason for my grumpiness? The world’s ideal for chatty, dominant extroverts. We live in double-standards where the phrase "be yourself" is at every street corner, yet seemingly the entire human race always wigs out every time I screw up socially or have a quiet/introverted personality. On Myers Briggs I have scored slightly extroverted, but truly identify more ambivert (middle of Int-Ext spectrum). But still feel punished for not being completely extroverted.

For almost 2 years now I’ve gone through counseling sessions and taken meds for the spectrum of anxiety disorders in large part due to a heavy weight of guilt I’ve had to carry with losing friends quite literally over one wrong thing said or an inappropriate social move. This was the story of my social life during undergrad at my uni. When I have reached out to well-intentioned friends about these issues provoking a poor self-esteem, I receive unsympathetic answers like “you know you’re not supposed to do x,y,z”. When people have recommended working on so-called “social skills” they are never clear as to what this term means or what I should improve. C’mon man gimmie a break. I am not a behaviorist. Speaking of behaviorists people think its ok to pathologize the crap out of someone who's any less than extroverted or perfect with social niceties. Plus my loved ones who spend the most time with me and know me the most know me for taking courtesy and tact to the next level. Isn't the advice of people who know me best the only thing that matters?

Although I understand this is not reality, society gives me a sobering impression that if I'm not absolutely perfect socially nor 100% extroverted, it's a heinous crime and I'll live life at the bottom of society's totem pole and stay there. It's like I'm never going to be good enough with others or not social enough.

Cut to the chase: Is it ok to be introverted, quiet, or make the occasional faux pas? Is “Be Yourself” a real phrase or just a conspiracy to further my misery?