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Originally Posted by Under*Over
Usually I dont let people get me down so much but today... I just feel sort of bad. I had someone today basically just spend 10 minutes making fun of me. My interests, my intelligence, my mental state. Basically for no reason.
Im not that sensitive of a person really. I try to brush things off. But... I try not to be cruel to other people so I just dont understand how other people can again and again treat me badly. People in my life say its because I let them. This is probably a bit true. I never want to hurt anyone and want to believe the best of people... but it often comes back to bite me and that just always hurts.
How can people just go out of their way to hurt others. And how can I stop it from hurting me? I do t want to be a victim. I hate being a victim. But I also do t want to be a victimizer.
Anyways... I tried to be even MORE of the things that person was making fun of for like an hour. So show that I wasnt bothered. But I was. And now I feel uncomfortavle with myself. Like maybe there really is something wrong with me.
How do you deal with people who treat you badly without letting it get you down? Ive been feeling really low lately so Im probably more vulnerable than usual... but how can I deal with this if Im afraid... always afraid..: criticisms might be true
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What I've learned is that while I can't control others opinions about me, I can know myself and what I'm capable of. If I know myself and what I'm capable of, who cares what a bully thinks of me. They're not throwing legitimate criticisms my way. They're just trying to undercut me.
I had a workplace bully who, among other things, scoffed at my desire to learn Spanish with the words "Why would YOU want to learn Spanish?" and a couple of weeks later lectured me about my personal hygiene despite the fact that the eight people I worked closely with thought my personal hygiene was just fine. After several months of that style of bullying, I started to doubt myself too.
I guess if I had a piece of advice in addition to "It's not you, it's them," it would be to find a sounding board. Find someone who would, if you started to doubt yourself, counter the toxic narrative those bullies would throw at you. Someone who would give you the truth of the matter.