The agitation and emotional pressure is too much. Intellectually I understand that what I am doing has gone too far and is out of control. My emotions can't catch up with that, and unfortunately, in the moment, intellect doesn't play a part. If it did my arms and legs wouldn't look like they do. Tonight I have tried things. I took my meds (they make me sleepy), I wrote, I talked to people, I even tried to use sex as a release (with my husband, don't worry). Now I'm sitting here with the huge pressure bubble and all I'm going to do is go upstairs, cut it out, and then go to bed. T said I can call tonight to leave a message, as always. He is not even sure what his role is in all of this anymore. I think we are both at somewhat of a loss. I feel like running until I collapse, crawling up the walls, jumping out of my skin...