Mickey, you are the most caring, compassionate and sweet user on this forum. You are always there to support me, no matter what. You're here for me more than all but one person I know in real life. The least I can do is be here for you through this and tell you over and over (until you believe it) that you're not pathetic. You help people, my friend. You help a lot of people. That's your gift. That's what you're good at. If it's something you like, could you pursue that?
All my hugs and love to you. You'll get through this. I'll be here for you all the while.