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BonsaiGuy · 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alpha03

There's too many things to say here.
For a long time I told her I've been bullied, abused by my uncle's, aunt's and she's just not willing to believe me. There were days I've been crying and she said why and I say I can feel the trauma of the bullying, abuse again. There's many times she's been manipulative, saracastic saying "why do you want to say hi to the uncle when she say this" something around this but she's been very manipulative. She seems to do this in a manipulative way. One of the uncle's didn't even buy me a present(she's seen it) but doesn't question his integrity, they are not even helping me out in anyway and my cousin did something and she says "you should see the doctor" when I gave her full proof of it. Even my dad says my uncle, aunt's are so and so and she just doens't listen, she probably know he's telling the truth. I don't think she cares if my uncle, aunts treat me and my father poorly. Everytime we bring up how the uncle, aunts have treated us she honestly doesn't want to hear it by her actions. Between 2005-2012 she never once talked to me and I did nothing wrong. She would look at me angry and talk to me angry. that's abusive behaviour.
At other times when I went to a party if I was to talk to her she would look at me angry and talk to me angry and even now. She lies a lot too saying she's going to stay at her friends house in city x but the thing is she doesn't have a friend in city x and she's lied other times too. I ask her can I borrow this from her and she says she can't find it but she knows exactly where it is. She's an untrustworthy person too.There's also other things.She's got everything what she wants but believe me if she didn't get what she wants she would have been an overbearing person.

I am sorry that you feel this way and that she is doing this to you. I hope the relationship gets better for both of you. My wife has a very difficult relationship with her sister and I'm sure can relate to a bunch of what you are saying.

I can relate in the sense that my brother will basically re-write history in similar ways that you mentioned. However, this is a self protective attribute for him, so I don't really count it as being against me in anyway. Even though I feel that I am not really being heard, basically hurt people hurt people even without meaning to. With any difficult relationship, I really try to step outside myself and my feelings on the matter at hand or the relationship as a whole. This kind of takes me out of the situation and personal judgement zone in a non-evasive way and opens me up to understanding where the other person is coming from. This is imperative in relationship repair and something I seriously hope you consider.

Have you tried talking with her about some of these things? It does sound like she is being a bit selfish, but it may help out the relationship a great deal to speak with her, voice your concerns, and try to understand where she is coming from. Sometimes when I am totally convinced that I am right, it's a little tough to see where I am wrong. Just a thought.

There is one thing that I am debating mentioning due to ideas sometimes being very misconstrued when reading them through text. I may be guilty of this same thing with you in this particular example, but I feel like I should put it out there in case you could benefit from the observation. I would recommend that you really think about and consider what is and what is not "abusive behavior". I know this can be a fine line that is easily crossed, but it is important to understand what it may mean to others versus what it means to you. No offense intended, just something that I hope helps you be understood by those willing to listen

Good luck!