I have a family like this. Here I am after all these years still struggling to set boundaries in my life.

If I could go back in time about 20 years... and change things... I would work on changing my own behaviors and accepting my “family” for who they are. Doing that work would mean I would have better relationships with people today. I didn’t understand this though. I grieved and struggled for years over the family I didn’t have. I tried to talk to them and tell them how I felt. I argued. I would feel angry. I would feel guilt. I tried to be nice and then inevitably they would run right over me and the whole cycle would start again.

I am now completely estranged from them and have no plans to reconnect. I have peace in my life but that peace has come with a price and it has taken me several years to understand that.

So if I could have managed to keep them at a distance.... I would have needed to really build my boundary setting skills for this... I think it would have been healthier. I was never able to accomplish that though. It was all or none with them. Their way or no way at all. They would blow up at every boundary I tried to set. Again, maybe I could have worked on myself more and found a way to better manage it all.

For what it’s worth... I personally think it’s best to come to a point where you can emotionally accept the situation for what it is and learn how to cope with people like them because those types of people tend to keep showing up in our lives in other ways. Whether or not you keep your family in your life... the patterns tend to repeat themselves. Best of luck to you. My heart goes out to you.