I also feel that this is like a break up. Not the romance part at all but the loss of someone who cared, with whom I could exist in a bubble of safety, who would save me from the big bad world. That loss is devastating.

I think it was those two latter losses that had only recently begun to develop from my adult parts that made him rightly pull the plug. Unhealthy dependence? One sided emeshment? It had to stop.

But crikey I miss the doc, the product of my transference, whom I loved, I miss the doc, the professional who cared for me (professionally), helped me, listened to me, for whom I feel an immense gratitude to for his treatment, I miss the doc, the person I knew (very limited disclosure, it was his insight, his patience, his kindness, things I could see and experience in the room), whom I admired and respected.

Kinda writing the letter here 🙄 😂 I should sleep. Need to be up in 5 hrs. Night all.