I know this wont seem like enough but I really feel you right now. What you are going through is very hard and scary... but I think you have made a good choice in coming and STAYING at the hospital during this time.

If you are going to feel better you need to let people help you. If you dont- well- then nothingbwill change. Your best bet is to listen to the people who want to help you- because whatother option is there if you want to feel better!

I wont say its all going to be ok becaude I dont want to just trivialize how scary things must be for you... but there is hope. If you work at it really hard and are patient with the people who claim to want good things to you... thats your best bet I thibk of feeling better. Of finding hope.

You have a lot of people here rooting for you, Im fairly new and even I can tell that. That must mean you are a good person who deserves that. Can that be enough for now? That people here recognize that you bring good to the world? I know things feel pretty dark but maybe other people can help you light things up for just a little while. Until you are able to feel that again on your own