I found out today that my father has a fair amount of confusion and I doubt he remembers what I said to him (or that I was there) so I can stop worrying about that for now. I guess he mostly remembers simple stuff, like who and where he is but those are things they work with him on every day. So something complicated like my 5 minute talking to him probably was lost and while I wish he knew some of it the part I probably shouldn't have said should remain a secret.

He will be going to a nursing home next week. I'm kind of sad about that because the case manager at the hospital has been so incredibly kind and helpful. I'll be sending a letter to her and to her boss about that. It's a tricky situation and she was totally non-judgmental when she could have been.

I hate that this is how he'll live the rest of his life. They'll keep trying to get him off the vent and do therapies with him but it doesn't sound like he's doing great at any of that. I also know that he probably fights every minute he can. It's just sad that anyone has to live like that. I hope that he isn't suffering and that being in a nursing home doesn't make him suffer as he has been quite paranoid about his living situation for many years (from what the neighbors told the guardian) and he was very isolated for 20 years. He never would have loved a nursing home, few people do, but his temperament is really anti-nursing home and he won't be released from there as he wasn't successfully living in the community.

This is so confusing.