Some people shouldn't work at home. It's a bit like online education: it can be a wonderful resource, but experience has shown that it demands a student be more disciplined than average to be successful.

I would be tempted to say this relaxing of your boundaries could be a good experience for you. But that scenario depends upon her to be extra secure and consistent in her boundaries--something she's never shown herself able to be.

The one thing I think increases the odds of disaster is if you continue without being honest about your concerns and talking about every detail that causes you to feel even the littlest bit uncomfortable. Being silent about these thoughts or convincing yourself that it's "safer" to conceal them is almost a guarantee of a blow up.