in the end i think there are some things that bother me about this new laxness .but what is scaring me the most is i think i might like it . her availability to me . i also can fantasize about sitting on her couch shoes off wrapped in a soft blanket talking to her (she does this ) i have spent years not allowing myself to feel this comfortable with her,in fact actively fighting against it .it was not hard when seeing her in an office. she would never take her shoes off or anything . now seeing her just relax and be comfortable and so homey(is this a word ). it temps me but for me seems a recipe for disaster .