I'm so sorry you're struggling, delusions23 I understand how you feel. I'm struggling with my career path as well. I don't think you're a coward at all. These decisions are ALWAYS difficult, and I'm willing to bet there are many people in a situation similar to yours at the moment. Studying abroad and learning a new language are not easy things and it's totally understandable that you'd not feel ready for it. Just do what you feel like you can handle. You don't have any obligation towards one choice or the other. It's your own life and you're free to make your own decisions. I'm so sorry, please don't give up. I know how hard it is. Don't be so hard on yourself. Just do what you feel like it's the best option for yourself. Whathever decision you take, I'm sure you'll do great at life. You sound very smart and empathetic. You're definitely not alone in this. I'm so sorry, I wish I've had more advice to give to you. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this