Thanks everyone. I made it through assessments to be able to stay voluntarily, for toda at least. Being reassessed in the morning. I haven’t helped my case my writing a note and packing the essentials to get home and, we’ll you know what. Stupidly (maybe thankfully)I told a nurse which will go on my notes. I’m guessing they will make sure I’m doped up and sleeping tonight.

It’s like I’m pulled in two contradictory ways. I wouldn’t tell them if I were sure but I am making serious plans none the less. I am also still very scared someone (s) are your to get me. Maybe it’s my doctor. He wants to drug me to the gills by adding Tegretol and two antipsychotics and removing Lamotrogine and Seroquel. I’m scared, so damn scared.

Strangely my T and a nurse I spoke to links my fears to childhood especially plus adult trauma when everyone was really out to get me. Idk as this feels like I am in danger in the present and haven’t thought of the trauma for years. Everything is coming to a head and I honestly don’t know if I will make it.