No need to apologize, Wander! It's clear that you're trying your best to cope right now. Use all your strength to do that. You have no obligation to reply to us. If you still want to reply, you can simply say "Thank you" once you'll feel better. Just try to rest. You are the number one priority. Stay safe and take care of yourself. It's just self-preservation, after all. We'll still be here to support you. We'll listen to what you have to say. We care about you. I hope writing here helps a bit. Sending many hugs to you