A few weeks ago I called an ambulance after cutting the artery in my wrist whilst dissociated. Two ambulance technicians arrived and immediately panicked as they were not expecting it to be an actual arterial bleed, despite me stating this to the ambulance controller. When they finally decided to take me to the ambulance depot to get an actual paramedic (with not intervention to stop or lessen the bleed), the paramedic got me stabilised and then decided that she and the two technicians would take me to the hospital (about 40 mins away) and to leave a single technician in the area. Later that evening, the ambulance technician came to speak to me in A&E and told me that a person had died because of me, as she was left alone and someone had a cardiac arrest. I realise that she would have said this to try to stop me self harming (as they don't seem to understand dissociation), but instead it has left me feeling that I cannot call ambulance of this happens again, and that I don't deserve help.

I realise that was quite a long speel, and thanks for reading this far! I just wondered if anyone has had any similar experience.