I posted earlier in the thread that I saw another therapist for a "consultation" during a difficult time for me when T was gone for a week. Told him afterward that I'd done it and how it helped me. I think one of the reasons why it helped me was because consultation T (who I very much liked) clarified and then was really clear about her role-- not as a current crisis but as an additional perspective on something I was struggling with in therapy. We focused on just that issue and it was really helpful to me. Five years later, I'm still seeing my T and haven't consulted with anyone else. I wouldn't hesitate to do it again, and I don't believe I would discuss it with T ahead of time.

I think this is one of those times that the communication between the two of you was confusing because (at least in part) you're operating from different assumptions. He is thinking the purpose of seeing "backup t" is IF you are in crisis that work. You are thinking about it differently, for support. The different purposes, or potential purposes, I think are clouding the issues.

I don't think you want the "backup" system T is envisioning. I think you want an appointment with another T for general support that week and as a fresh perspective. You don't need your T's help or permission for this one, whereas to be helped in crisis for his formal backup, it seems he needs to set it up. I think this is pinging for your authority issues-- there is no reason why, if you don't want the backup deal and just want to make an appointment that week with someone you think is compatible with you and might offer some general as well as specific assistance in where you are, you can do that on your own and I agree with Echos, outside your current T's domain.

I think there is another side to this, which is that therapy is a relationship and I think that a certain level of intimacy and openness need to be present to make it work most effectively (for me, not sure how widely this applies). I had a flash of feeling bad when I told my T I had seen someone else for a consultation without discussing it with him, yet he assured me I could see anyone I wanted anytime and didn't need to tell him. I said I would want to apologize if this had dishonored the relationship between us, but he said no.

I guess what I'd like to see you do is TELL your T what you are doing, either before or after, if you decide you don't want this backup system, which sounds rigid and not helpful. If he has a fit about it, I'd again agree with echos that this is a wrench in your autonomy that you should not accept.