Hi all, my story is long as are others so ill try to keep it short. I am going through a LOT and life is pretty good! But, I am tapering off Lamictal right now, just a few days in, from 100mg to now 75mg. I am in the process of TTC a baby, and want to go off as many meds as possible.. I don't feel well today & am working from home (its technically my day off today, and my cleaning / "me" day) I am very protective over this day and lately life has been crazy. My husband & I are offering on a house, we are both excelling @ work. However, I work w/ 2 total extroverts. They always try to rope me into plans (drinks after work for ex). I signed up for this paint night that I had gotten out of last time, but this time signed up thinking it sounded fun, but I know it is going to be totally social (despite the painting) it is at a bar, with alcohol which I'm trying to avoid lately also. So.... I used a easy excuse that I needed to meet w/ my real estate agent about our new home purchase (not entirely untrue, just that we are more or less meeting virtually lol) I hate that I have to lie. I told husband my struggle with this. He gets it, he hates social activities w/ co-workers I don't hate it but I need a lot of convincing, and if I need my time, that is the first thing I will be happy to avoid or ditch. I just don't want my boss to get mad at me b/c I am a bit flaky w/ things like that. As for work work, I am a good hard worker. Its the social stuff that annoys me :/ I am going to start managing a new office, so I know my boss has a lot of faith in me. Im also trying to have a baby w/ my husband and we are starting IVF next month. So there is a lot of stuff going on.
So I guess cancelling a plan or 2 sometimes is just going to happen when you have my kind of mental issues and I need to forgive myself. I just feel bad and hate when I am wishy washy or seem flaky. :/

I also have a lot of fears about socializing, but have done a good job of facing my fears. I just hope getting off lamictal doesn't trigger me in my mood or my anxiety too much
thanks for listening.