Hugs, I’ve been reading this again. I wish I had something profound to say that would also be within the guidelines here (I usually don’t post much in this forum). I also haven’t found therapy helpful, particularly in a spiritual sense. I have heard there are good therapists out there who listen....Please feel free to post and vent as much as you want or need to.... you’re not alone in your struggles and confusion. PM me if you think it might help. Many hugs to you