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Old Feb 05, 2019, 05:11 PM
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Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
Here is my experience with this. When I was young, I was a liar. I told 2 major lies. 1 that my mother abused me and 1 that I was molested by a neighbor. However, I do and did very much have severe bipolar 1 disorder and I was very delusional at the time. I take full responsibility for both of these lies but I can pinpoint to a very moment what the lies stemmed from. The first lie, I’ll never forget a teacher who I absolutely idolized told someone right in front of me that my mom was just like her mom had been (her mom had been abusive and she had had similar responses as me in high school). As soon as she made that assumption and statement, it became true for me. And, this was a lie that I felt huge grief and guilt over later because my mom is, and always has been, incredibly amazing. The second lie, was when I was sitting with a Christian “minister” she encouraged me to focus on any tragic “memories” I may have had. Well, I thought the smallest thought and then made it up, truly wanting to believe it. The truth is, I did have trauma as a young girl, I just didn’t recognize it as such until I was much older so I didn’t know to discuss and process it (which I have now done). My pdoc told my mom I was very delusional and that she couldn’t really believe anything that was coming out of my mouth. Once I was better, I went to EVERYONE I had lied to and told them the truth. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. When you admit to something like that, you think no one will ever trust you again.

But, the truth is, I am not a liar. I have not told lies since. Even when I’ve been very, very sick, I have been honest. In fact, I think when I am manic, I am more apt to tell the brutal truth. Maybe this is because of my experience? I don’t know. But, I can tell you that as a teen I lied and Mali pupated and I was not a nice person at all. I feel so blessed that I got better and was given a second chance. When I got better, I stayed that way for 8 years. Then, when I got sick again, I was blind sighted but I had no control like I thought I had when I was young.

So, I guess yes, I do believe that people with compromised minds are capable of big lies and big manipulations but I also think that some people are psychological liars too. I think his other behaviors and doctors would need to be the judge of that.
__________________
*****

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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Thanks for this!
AspiringAuthor