What ElectricManatee said,

A growing number of professionals believe the key to building intimacy in a relationship is to show genuine vulnerability. Problem is, there is risk involved with being vulnerable and a very real chance of getting hurt. Because so many of us have been hurt, we approach future relationships with the scars of our past in the drivers seat. This is the damage that trauma does to our ability to connect and trust others. It is SO unfair. No amount of intellectual awareness can change these reactions - it is trauma and brain damage. But there are good people out there who are safe. The yearning for a safe relationship with another human being is normal and in all of us - and when therapy meets these needs it can make a tremendous difference to those of us who never had the privilege of a nurturing relationship built on positive regard and honesty. However, therapy is a relationship just like those in the real world and it is important to have realistic expectations so that when our therapist eventually DOES upset us, we will not be absolutely devastated.

THAT, I believe is the definition of safe place in therapy.

However, I am of the opinion that chasing that safety with another human being will only lead to more damage as our expectations will never be met. I suppose this comes from having been hurt time and time again and especially when most vulnerable.

I learned a bit about safe spaces in university last semester. There is plenty of research and literature about, "sacred spaces," and what it means. (This is synonymous with safe spaces) That it is a need in all of us and we all gravitate towards different things. Here is a link to a video about it, it is quite fascinating.




Thanks,
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