After thinking about this more while I was doing my chores around my farm, given your kind of sensitivity, when your parents argue and get loud, part of the challenge for you is that they don't present a pattern that you can follow in your mind. When someone is on the Autistic spectrum, they like things organized a certain way. They can have a hard time trying to explain it in a way that other's can understand. What your parents are doing gets loud, and doesn't make sense to you, I think that because your mother tends to get louder and angrier you tend to reach out to her to try to get her to stop. So lets say you were listening to music and all the instruments were right in front of you that you could step towards and touch. If most of the instruments were playing in order and the sounds they made all fit together nicely, you would be ok with that, but if one instrument disrupted that, you would want to reach out to it to stop it from disrupting things. It's like you need things to run in a clock work way and when you experience something that is different, it disturbs the way your personal clock runs. Actually, this tends to be one of the reasons individuals that are on the Autism Spectrum like to have their day run like clock work and have breakfast at a certain time, eat things a certain way, and eat certain kinds of foods etc. Also, this is why individuals on the spectrum tend to like video games so much because they can be in a world where everything can fit and make sense to them.

You do get angry and you don't want to hurt anyone, but you DO want the noise and these bursts of negative exchanges your parents engage in to stop. You keep asking them, but they keep fighting and they disrupt the order you need to experience in your environment. The only thing you can do is create a place you can retreat to that "has" order that helps you feel comfortable. Ear plugs help, but sometimes they don't completely block the noise. Often what can help is having earphones that play music or have some kind of soothing noise that your brain can follow that shuts out the noise and disruption your parents make in your environment.

I have been around children that struggle to different varying degrees on the Autistic spectrum. Once I begin to interact with them, I have to follow "their world" and when I do that things work out better.

What you could do when it comes to your parents is put up a sign on the refrigerator and say, "would you please stop causing so much loud noise in my environment, it upsets me. Please get help so you can learn how to stop making so much noise in my environment". I don't know if that will work, but you can "try".