Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty
I loved/love my former T. I did think it was healing, but since losing her, maybe it has been damaging. The loss part...that's damaging. Loving her and having her love me, that part wasn't. But when that love was gone then all that is left is a great big giant crater. I think it was mostly helpful at the time, but I think it is a hindrance to my current therapy. I don't want to get close. I don't want to be vulnerable. I don't want to attach. Etc.
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You wrote this so well, I completely agree!
I just want to say for myself that loving T the way I did has made me more open to loving others, not seeing it as a sign of weakness and defensiveness because it made me feel safe while I was there and it felt nice.
Although do I want to experience this ever again with another T no, because quite simply, when the inevitable end happens, we are left with hurt and pain.