Sat on the couch in yesterday's session. It took most the session before she finally understood what was going on for me inside. She seemed to keep interjecting possible reasons/interpretations into my explanations. It was like she couldn't slow down to match my speed. She kept talking granted half of what she said was to try to encourage me that it was all ok, that we could talk about whatever and that we didn't have to talk about it.

There is an inner fight going on right now. One part thinks it's ready to tell its stories and other part(s) are not ready for those stories to be told. So I will say one or 2 sentences about something and then shut up and I am fighting with myself to stay physically in the room and mental/emotionally with the thoughts/feelings rather than switching to a much safer topic or intellectualizing it.

Somehow I need her to show me she is with me, interested in what I am saying, engaged in the process, encouraging and supportive while at the same time give me the space to not feel pressured, tricked, ... I need her to somehow give me the quietness in energy that will let me know that everything will be ok and it's ok that these are tough things for me to talk about even though they are not "big deal" things.