I love your title to this post.

I sure can relate. Something that sometimes has helped me is to read up verbal abuse and get reminded that I don't deserve it.

Also, the book Crazy Love: Dealing with Your Partner's Problem Personality might be useful, I just now read it,found a copy through my local public library. By "dealing with" they also mean getting away from. There is info on how to safely and completely get away from guys like you've been dealing with.

You could also google on "verbal abuse" and get some ideas.

I know the grieving period can really suck. I got through it a bit easier when I really took good care of myself, as if I was home sick with a cold. Good time for fun easy healthy distractions.

Best of luck to you.