Very understandable that this was difficult for you and triggered all those feelings, Justbreathe. I don't think it's at all selfish to be thinking about how it could be really hard for her too. I would also want to believe this, because it would suggest that she is 'human' and was really committed to your therapy and did really care. Maybe this is the best kind of thought to hold on to.
I'm glad you have your DBT T, even though she is away.