I read something someone wrote and it made me think on how I deal with what I know day by day.
Was a while back that I was diagnosed with DID amongst other things so I've known for a long while now, but I still don't deal with it well. I still have loads of issues, it still makes me uncomfortable, it makes me feel embarrassed and ashamed I guess is the right word. I hope I'm not offending anyone as its not my intention, it's just the way I feel.
I don't like to think I have this. I know I do. I've seen posts I didn't write. I don't read them, but I've noticed them. I've seen notes on paper and other things, plus I've been told things by the T I used to have and by my wife.
It's easier for me to think of them as people who live with me like my wife lives with me. It's easier for me to think of them as being over there somewhere rather than inside me. It's easier to think of them having nothing to do with me.
If I think about it too much I start thinking about how this doesn't really help, how I should maybe try and see things as they are but that's too scary and makes it too real. I mean I know it's real but it makes me feel like I'm really crazy, not well.
So it's easier to stick it all back in its box and think of them as just being over there somewhere, their own people and nothing to do with me.
Not sure why I'm writing this or what I want, I just had to put it down.