For the past month, I've been having some dissociative symptoms. Spacing out, feeling unreal, and my memory is completely shot. Anxiety is up, paranoia is back, and I have a feeling this might be getting worse.

I'm not on an effective medication regimen. 75mg of Seroquel doesn't seem to be enough to quell the 'weird' stuff that's been happening. It helps bring me back to reality, but it's not enough.

I'm normally an atheist and a skeptic, and a couple nights ago I had a spirit seance. It actually worked. I felt and saw a spirit in my room and it took hold of me and forbade me from telling others about its intentions. It was a bad spirit. I tried to get rid of it with sage and it was still there, in my room. Maybe it was because of the salt I put down by the door and windows and trapped it in there. It didn't help that when I was summoning it, one of my candles randomly extinguished in my circle. I heard talking outside my window and a train blaring in the distance nonstop.

I know it sounds ridiculous, and I realize it now, but it was so real. I had an inkling that it was a bit whacky but I dismissed that notion based on the feelings I had. The presence being in my room.

I don't even know if I'm manic or not. I'm not euphoric, I'm not dysphoric, my energy is normal; I'm not having my usual mania signs.

I would really like to know what the heck is going on. I'm scared for my future. I can't remember anything beyond bits and pieces for the past month. I'm telling friends things and they tell me things like "You've already told us this." and it freaks me out. It's like being gaslit but I'm actually lit. It's extremely disconcerting.