Quote:
Originally Posted by 251turnaround
For the past month, I've been having some dissociative symptoms. Spacing out, feeling unreal, and my memory is completely shot. Anxiety is up, paranoia is back, and I have a feeling this might be getting worse.
I'm not on an effective medication regimen. 75mg of Seroquel doesn't seem to be enough to quell the 'weird' stuff that's been happening. It helps bring me back to reality, but it's not enough.
I'm normally an atheist and a skeptic, and a couple nights ago I had a spirit seance. It actually worked. I felt and saw a spirit in my room and it took hold of me and forbade me from telling others about its intentions. It was a bad spirit. I tried to get rid of it with sage and it was still there, in my room. Maybe it was because of the salt I put down by the door and windows and trapped it in there. It didn't help that when I was summoning it, one of my candles randomly extinguished in my circle. I heard talking outside my window and a train blaring in the distance nonstop.
I know it sounds ridiculous, and I realize it now, but it was so real. I had an inkling that it was a bit whacky but I dismissed that notion based on the feelings I had. The presence being in my room.
I don't even know if I'm manic or not. I'm not euphoric, I'm not dysphoric, my energy is normal; I'm not having my usual mania signs.
I would really like to know what the heck is going on. I'm scared for my future. I can't remember anything beyond bits and pieces for the past month. I'm telling friends things and they tell me things like "You've already told us this." and it freaks me out. It's like being gaslit but I'm actually lit. It's extremely disconcerting.
|
I cant tell you what is going on with you but can tell you what my treatment providers and I do when I get like this.
first we look at my symptoms to see which problem belongs to which disorder...
example
Dissociation in me does include feeling spaced out and unreal.
dissociation in me does not include anxiety, instead I have the dissociative symptom of going numb (having no feelings emotionally)
Dissociation in me does not include spirits and ghosts taking hold of me... the DID criteria wording "possession" is a cultural word (example native american and such) that describes the switching process that alters and those they reside with in do and shows ownership... example in my native american culture when a person with DID switches into one of their alternate personalities its said that Rainy was in possession. possession as in the same meaning as if someone got busted for having illegal drugs its said they are under arrest for possession of drugs.
we also look at the fact that dissociation disorders also carry the diagnostic criteria that a persons problems can not be because of any cultural / religious practices (example vision quests, ceremonies, seances, dance under the red moon and other things like that)
that means any time I feel that ghosts or spirits are taking over my body that is related to my psychosis (having delusions and hallucinations)
Dissociation in me does not include the symptom of paranoia, Paranoia is whats called a psychosis symptom in me.
in my dissociation problems I do have a special kind of memory problem. we look at what I am actually having problems remembering. and whether there is a trigger involved with this. here where I am dissociation doesnt just happen out of the blue, its a natural response to a trigger, something triggers it to happen. if theres no triggers involved and the things I am not remembering does not fit the kind for dissociative memory problem (other wise known as dissociative amnesia) then we concider this not a dissociative symptom in me
my medications are known for causing me to feel spaced out, unreal, have memory problems and sometimes psychotic symptoms.
put it all together...
the feeling spaced out and unreal goes with either meds or dissociation in me and the anxiety, paranoia and spirits are part of my bipolar disorder psychosis symptoms or medications.
once thats figured out we make changes to my meds to see if that solves the problem, using grounding / breathing / relaxation tools for the dissociation and anxiety
my suggestion if this continues to bother you contact your treatment provider, they can help you figure out which problems belong to which and get you treated for it so that you no longer have these problems.