You haven't seen this T for very long, even adding in the 3 months from last year. I'm sorry, but the untangling of abusive relationships (of any kind) can take a long time; I've done it twice, once with my husband, then second with my fiancé; both were men, and I am female. I came out to myself when I was 38 or 39, and am happy to say, finally, that I'm in a great relationship with my wife; we met 19 years ago, and married in 2010!
It takes a long time to get through all of the issues (not just the sexuality, although that is a major part), but, as my T often says, "The only way out is through." Send me a private message if you want to talk more about anything.--Cool