Hi,

I've been reading through some of the posts on here and kind of relate to some of them. I'm a 34 year old male and have a lot of sexual frustration. The only way I can get sex is by paying for it. I lost my virginity when I was 29 and since then had sex a dozen times up till now by paying for it. Ideally it's not what i want to do but is the only path available. I feel terrible afterwards but what else can I do? I am also scared about picking up STD's. I can't get a girlfriend, not that I haven't tried, I have a 100% failure rate at finding a partner. That's another issue in itself as well as other stuff.

What's normal for sex? How frequent do "normal" people have sex? I think about sex all the time, is that normal? Do I think more about it because I can't get it? Is it wrong to pay for sex? Am i the only one like this or is anyone else the same? I just can't seem to get these things out of my head. Am I a freak? I hear and see around me at times some people saying that they are going mad because they haven't had sex in say 3 or 4 weeks and I am in the position where it can be a year or two for me and being "mad" all that time. I am very shy and took me a very long time even just to get the courage to approach someone for paid sex (about 6 years) for the first time and thinking back on it, it was one of the best experiences I had. I don't have any regrets whatsoever about it and glad that I did on that occassion. She was good with me and I still remember the look of shock on her face when I told her I was a virgin. That was priceless!