I won't say I can understand how you feel. That would be very presumptuous. It sounds like you are experiencing a very difficult time, and that you are also very isolated. I am glad you have posted here on PC. Everyone will have something different to chip in, some may help and some may annoy you, or even bore you.

As for having thoughts of others wanting to hurt you I can say a big YES to that. In fact I have just made it out of weeks off believing my therapist, psychiatrist, any health professional and even parents were out to get me, to manipulate me and control me. It was terrifying as I had nowhere to seek support, no one to ask questions without believing I would be locked up. I have the diagnosis of BP1 with psychotic features if that means anything. However, I have never experienced anything like this. Where I could not trust any of the people I would usually seek help from. It was beyond frightening.

What ended up helping me (and may not be the right path for you) was telling my therapist at least that I didn't trust him at all and explained why. He was very calm, non-judgemental and concerned. However, he did contact my psychiatrist and I was hospitalised. A new anti-psychotic was given to me and now eight days later I feel back to normal.

What you are going though could be completely different but it could be helpful to go to that group and maybe test the waters so to speak. Go at your pace as you seek understanding as to what is going on. Above all. Please stay safe.