I hope you're doing ok, redCanine3669. Are things going any better? Please don't give up. I know it's hard. I think you're handling all of this very well. Be proud of yourself for that. Try to hang on. Remember that we're here for you to support you. Feel free to PM me anytime. I'm always available if you need to talk. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you