All of this sounds to me like she's not very intelligent (different from intellectual), at least not at therapy. You don't have to be intelligent to get degrees or be respected in academia (and I am in academia). So she may be an intellectual, but I'm not sure that's the problem.

I have no idea if this is true for you, but the kind of stuff you get back from her--turning to questions, parsing words, textbook psychoanalysis, missing opportunities--I get from therapists when they either don't know what they're doing, so they fall back on mindless technique, or they more specifically don't know what to do with me. (And yeah, talking to them is exhausting.) The best therapist I had had her scripted moments, but was also able to think outside the box.