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Please consider listening to this song, its about me on many levels, especially this part of course: "But looking back I see what I was meant to see. I gazed at my reflection in your eyes".
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This song only could go so far though, do you see that? Abandonment left a sense of only getting to a certain point and not being able to do the rest. Abandonment isn't necessarily leaving physically either, instead it is often how a parent doesn't nurture fully the way a child needs them to. That is why what happened to that young teen had such a deep affect on me.
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On many levels (but not all levels) I will forever be like this with nearly everyone except for my parents. They are incapable of giving me ANY sort of supply at all.
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Your parents never really knew how to give you the right kind of "supply" you needed.