I wish I had something more concrete to offer you. I know what I do when I feel it boiling up and about to erupt is what I call "5 blue things". I saw it on a show. Its a way of grounding- and reframing the mind. You look around for five blue things and say them out loud slowly with a deep breath between.. " i see the blue book" (breathe) I see the towel"-breathe- I see the dish soap... and onward, it really does help at least a little when you feel like you might have a meltdown.