10yrs is a long time to remain stuck in the loss of others to that degree.
I had to think to myself whether it was ever like that for me. And I think it was. But the difference was, I'd find someone new to take hostage.
It's only after getting what I needed in therapy that my feelings of loss when I lose people are at normal levels. Meaning my life isn't on hold for 10yrs.
Im able to move through it.
This is a time thing. Time in therapy. If the T is up to it of course.
Just keep chewing at different things in therapy and eventually you find the core.