I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, golden_eve It must be very stressful for you to deal with all of this. Please don't give up. Take it one step at the time. Take baby steps. Otherwise it will all seem so overwhelming for you. Just try to focus on one thing at the time. If you're dealing with your job, just focus on it and don't think of any other worries. Most importantly, remember to tale care of yourself! Take some time to relax with your boyfriend. I know it's hard, but trust me whan i say that things can and will get better. Remember that you're doing all you can to deal with this situation - you're looking for another job and doing your best to support your boyfriend. Be proud of yourself for that. I agree with Nowinners. If you're going through all of this with your boyfriend, it means your bond is really stronger! You will get out all of this stronger than ever, I'm sure of that. I'm so sorry, I wish I've had more advice to give to you. Just keep doing what you're already doing. You're handling all of this pretty well. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. You've got this. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you