Hey Alwaysme0

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. The situation you find yourself in is identical to my own except my marriage is of a longer duration.

I couldn't tell you the reasons I stay. I don't know what they are. The truth is if I had a friend in the same position I'd be telling them to get the hell out of there asap...& yet I stay.

I know from the outside looking in it makes no sense. It doesn't make any more sense from the inside looking out either.

Fears, insecurities, paralysed by indecision, the better days are OK, low self esteem, lack of confidence, in my case depression plays a big part, I have bpd traits, anxiety issues...maybe somewhere inside a part that believes I deserve to be 'punished' in this way, I often don't trust my own thoughts so I'm unable to tell what's right, what's wrong...it's easier to stay.

Gentle hugs. I'm sorry that you're hurting. I hope you find a way through that works for you. I hope you have or can access some support irl too. That might help x