Interesting. I had a session with the therapist yesterday after I posted this. She said that I was trying to control her - what she says and when she says what. See, my intention wasn't to control her. It's just that I am extremely, extremely in tune with my needs. I am a very introspective and intuitive person. I know what I need. And when I'm not getting it because the therapist gives a response that doesn't resonate with me, I would ask her why she said that and what the purpose of that statement or question was. And I would tell her what I needed her to say. Is this control? I don't see it as control; my intention isn't to control. I see it as me being very in tune with myself and knowing what I need, and conveying it to her.

In session yesterday, she said that instead of telling her what to say, a better way for me to phrase it would be to tell her how I felt like what she said wasn't empathizing with me. And she would explain how her response was actually empathic and in tune with what I was saying. I don't get it. I think that this has been what I was doing all this while??

And, isn't this her trying to control me and what I say?? She's telling me how I should phrase myself. Isn't she doing the very thing she's telling me not to do??

And I do not and have never said to her, "You need to say ________." I have never phrased it in that way to her. I usually ask her why she said what she said and I would say to her, "You saying, '________' would've been better." I don't see what's so wrong about voicing what I needed to hear. My primary intention isn't to control her; my intention is to get what I needed in that moment, in therapy.

How's it going in for say a massage, and telling the person to focus more on your shoulders? It's not controlling the massage therapist; it's voicing what you need.