I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, AspiringAuthor It sounds like you're handling all of this pretty well. Just wanted to let you know that I admire your strength and clarity of vision. If you have tried every other meds out there, then I guess you may start considering ECT as an option. Stay safe and take care of yourself. Keep doing what you're doing. Have an healthy lifestyle, eat well, ecc. Evaluate all the options you have. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you