I'm so sorry, pixielouwho It sounds like you're going through a lot right now. Please don't give up. You're definitely not alone on this, as this thread has already shown. I know things seem pretty bad right now, but trust me when I say that they can get better. I'm so sorry you don't have a support system IRL. Remember that we're here for you. You can talk to me if you want. I'm here to listen. You know I won't judge you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. I hope you'll feel better soon. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you