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Old Feb 09, 2019, 02:59 PM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,434
Quote:
Originally Posted by Under*Over View Post
Its weird. Even when I am feeling suicidal... I never cry. When I was last psychotic- and terrified out of my mind- I cried only twice and neither was for more than a couple minutes and even that felt... forced. Like I was freaking out- unable to respond to the freakout- but felt that crying would be healthier than
Possible trigger:
so I forced a couple of tears out. But it didnt feel real.

I am basically unable to cry. I cry at deaths and I cry at movies occasionally- hut that feels different. I dont... I dont cry at things that happen to ME. That reaction for some reason just- doesnt happen. I get crushed. I get sad. I turn the lights off and huddle in the corner in pain. Like my chest feels like its sinking to the floor and everything feels horrible and I feel like some sort of freakish monster who deserves
Possible trigger:
and I hate myself and feel just the most awful things. But I dont cry.

But I kind of wish I could. Crying can be so cathartic. And sometimes I feel like... I need that.

But Im broken somehow when it comes to crying. I replaced it with
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at a time when I was too vulnerable and Im just not sure if I will be able to get the ability to cry back.
I am the exact same way. When I feel depressed I can feel the tears behind my eyes but I cannot let them go. I wish I could cry too. I feel dead inside. I used to self harm as well as my coping skill. I’m much better with it now, I haven’t done it in over a year. But I swear I wish I could. I feel like it would make everything better, although I know it wouldn’t.

I just wanted you to know you’re not alone.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
Hugs from:
Anonymous41462, Anonymous43918, cashart10, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
Wild Coyote