Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
You just met this guy. It’s not like your husband or long term partner unexpectedly developed an issue, sure spouses or long term partners would stick around and see if it could be worked on.
You dated a guy fairly briefly, portion of which he was doing his own thing like traveling and attending events without you, being distant, being rude calling you needy and clingy, you spend very little time together and don’t even talk much (that one night a week he’d come to spend the night-is it to have sex?), yiu dint talk during the day (he doesn contact you) etc etc
He isn’t a suitable dating companion from the very beginning but you are now determined to change him into someone else. Someone he isn’t.
Were your other relationships happy and healthy? Or they were all with emotionally unavailable men? What does your therapist say?
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No, no, no. You got it a bit wrong. We see each other twice a week, because we work opposite shifts. He stays at mine Wednesdays, leaves work early to see me and i stay at his Sundays, he picks me up, cooks for me or we go swhere. When we have time we stay all weekends together. He comes every time to pick me up from work. He gave me a key to his flat, bought me my toothbrush, my pjs for when I am there. He keeps his clothes at mine. We go on holidays together every month. For my bday I got from him a surprise trip to Spain - as I love Spain. He went with me to see my parents for a holiday. Actually, it was problematic - he forgot his documents, so he re-booked the flights, spent a lot of money and 24 h at the airports to be able to join me. He takes me out with his friends, I am his official gf not a booty call.
He begs me to see me now and says that he cannot wait for Wednesday to see the therapist and start solving it, so that we can continue this relationship without his emotional baggage. I am sure that he is going to talk at this therapy about his issues with commitment to anything. I also told him that at some point I can join him for a couples counselling to do it all right, but for now I will move back and observe what is happening and how he is doing.It is not that I totally committed to a total a@@hole. With a lot of things we are really similar - ideas for the future, our past, same sense of humour, same political views and many more.