Quote:
Originally Posted by mindmechanic
And speaking of best therapists, when I was in in college, I saw a psychologist at the university's counseling center for a couple of times. That dude was by far the easiest therapist to talk to. He leaned in, would nod his head and go "yeah, "yeah" while I'm talking and when I catch my breath, he would mirror me, paraphrase, acknowledge, and empathize to show that he gets it and is on the same page as me. And I would continue sharing and talking. It felt good. It felt... therapeutic.
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But see, what feels good to one person doesn't always feel good to another. I would be weirded out by a therapist like the one you describe. Tbh, I feel most comfortable with a therapist who doesn't constantly empathize with me and who doesn't feel the need to smother me with unconditional positive regard. There is no one size fits all therapy. You've made some comments indicating that there is only one way a therapist should act or respond, and that insinuates that all clients have the same needs.
I know you've said that if it doesn't work with this therapist, you're done with therapy, but I'm even more puzzled by this now that I know you've had an experience that felt better. Am I forgetting something? Why is it so important to stay with this therapist? I think the changes you want are too much in conflict with how she practices, and I don't think you are ever going to be able to force her into the mold of your ideal therapist. You can't change her fundamental way of doing therapy.