first off its Brian....not Bryan

second...your not much different from me

Im 37...married...have ZERO friends...no hobbies other than raising a 3 year old.....backed into my fathers hydraulic business.....and have been battling depression since I was about 12....anxiety for the last 15 years and now ADHD

I failed socially too....never had any friends other than the one I had a homosexual affair with and that ended that friendship.....never dated a girl until I was 26......(I'm married to her now)...

I was a surrogate parent (parents divorced and I took care of mom)while most kids were off at college

so Ive never felt normal either

but Ive learned that your dealt a hand and you can either play it or fold it....

Im learning in therapy that everyone has "stuff" and everyone has
some complaint about this or that

I have good days and bad days, but ive never felt I wasnt a man

you said in your post you have a best friend....thats good

I have a brother I see twice a year and he only lives three hours a way

anyway hang in there......im starting to ramble here